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Saying No to Toxic Relationships
After the long cold days of winter, spring sings her chipper song. As I write this, I have brightly coloured tulips to gaze at happily in my garden. Spring is a great time to start eating healthier, lighter food, wear bright colours, and get outdoors. It also happens to be a great time to fall in love. Perhaps scientists will one day reveal a specific chemical that flies around in the spring air that gets the pheromones going. Who knows? Maybe they already have???but before you take that exuberant leap into a special someone's arms and fall head-over-heels, here are some suggestions to keep your head in the clouds, while your feet are firmly planted on the ground.
In my therapy practise, I work exclusively with women and what seems to make it over and over to the "top 5" list of most important topics in therapy without fail is how to be in a healthy relationship with a significant other. From my therapy chair, I hear countless stories of hopes dashed, hearts broken, and very often, women being abused verbally, emotionally, and physically. Their pain is often gut-wrenching, extremely palpable, and difficult to bear witness to. I sit there day after day looking at the most beautiful, intelligent, strong, and capable women -a great inspiration to me in my own life- who are paying me decent money to help them figure out why they keep picking the wrong guys and how they can stop feeling so miserable in relationships.
By the time they enter the therapy door, they have often reached a state of desperation and hopelessness. I can't tell you how many times I've heard women say, "That's it. I give up. I want to be in a healthy relationship but I'm not capable of it. I just keep repeating the same patterns over and over again and I never get what I want."
This is where the therapy starts and the healing begins. Changing self-destructive relationship patterns is a long and difficult, and often frustrating process. But it is completely achievable if you have the courage, guidance, and stick-to-it-ness to do it. Because I am asked so often for help in this area and because I have been through this process myself and ended up in the best relationship I could ever have dreamed of, I wrote a self-help relationship workbook entitled, "Dump That Chump: A Ten-Step Plan For Ending Bad Relationships and Attracting The Fabulous Partner You Deserve". It's available on-line at: www.dumpthatchump.com.
For the purposes of this short article however, I've compiled a list of signs that you should look for that will tell you whether your relationship is toxic:
?? The people who care about you most don't like him
?? You stop doing things you used to enjoy to be with him
?? You feel like you can't live without him and vice-versa
?? He has a bad relationship track-record
?? He makes you feel badly about yourself
?? He gawks at other women in front of you
?? He doesn't seem to care about what you have to say
?? You've had a gut feeling that something was wrong from the very beginning
?? You feel "on edge" or get "the crazies" when you're with him and begin to doubt yourself and your judgment
Although it sometimes doesn't feel like it, it IS possible to walk away from a toxic relationship. The first step is to understand why you're in the relationship. We learn most about relationships from our families. You have to examine what kind of role models your parents were when it comes to intimate relationships and become aware of what you've picked up from them. Even the most dysfunctional family patterns will feel comfortable when they are repeated later in life- but just because they are familiar, it does not mean they are working for you.
You need to examine what you've been taught about relationships and how you have applied that teaching to your own life, and then sort out what isn't useful or productive anymore and find alternatives. Other steps I outline in detail in my book include identifying what your needs are and coming up with a list of your ideal partner's characteristics.
So many incredible, intelligent women-including myself- have dated toxic people- but it is possible to break the pattern and begin enjoying healthy, happy, and fulfilling long-term relationships. I have seen countless women ditch bad relationships permanently, and achieve great success in attracting and maintaining healthy, fulfilling relationships. How? By digging below the surface and doing the 'self work' that is required???there's no "quick fix"- the work is hard and often painful, but as one who has come out the other side and guided many other women there, I can confidently say that it's worth it!
Edward S. Ferguson
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Lean More and Choose The Best Pheromone for You
How do pheromones work?
Human body naturally produces pheromones every day. Individuals who give off higher than average amounts of pheromones usually have greater success with attracting members of the opposite sex, while individuals who don t produce a high level of pheromones attract fewer potential mates. Pheromones are odorless chemicals and they are detected through an organ inside the... 
Many different pheromones products are now available on the market. Pheromone products come in all shapes and sizes. For example, you have an option to buy pheromone colognes, pheromone oils, pheromone perfumes, or pheromone concentrates. Also, pheromone products are available in either unscented or scented versions. Of course, men and women use different types of pheromone products - but there...
What is the best pheromone product on the market? Is there one product that out strips the rest and guarantees you success with the opposite sex, or for that matter, the same sex?
Human pheromones have made an impact on today s society as their role in human behaviour is better understood. The pheromone product industry has grown rapidly as savvy marketers realise the potential to make money...
How much does confidence play in the art of attracting women? Think about this for a minute and then ask yourself why you are naturally drawn to people who exude confidence. Is it pheromones at play?
What!...pheromones, what are you talking about Willis?
Pheromones to attract women is what I m talking about and you better believe they are real. As real as typing in pheromones in your...
Male Female Attraction through Pheromones
The only way the lower living beings like ants, butterflies, birds, dogs or even a tiger can communicate is through pheromones. The pheromones are the way they communicate as they cannot communicate through oral or written word. The communication starts when the particular species it at its very best to procreate and ends when the species is not in a...
Guys, want to enhance your chances of having sex? Unless you ve got Brad Pitt type looks and a bank balance to match, then attracting the opposite sex for most of us takes a little work.
Human pheromones are gaining popularity at an ever increasing rate but before you whip out the credit card and buy the first pheromone spray, perfume or oil you come across let me give you a few tips on what...
Here s an adventure in perfume scent - science secret smell revealed! You ll discover why. So, let s begin at the beginning...
The science of perfume is thousands of years old.
The word perfume comes from the Latin word per fume through smoke . The first form of perfume was incense, and it was first discovered by the Mesopotamians about 4,000 years ago. However, the Egyptians were the...
Pheromones act as a form of chemical communication between human beings. These chemicals are well known for their ability to attract members of the opposite sex.
There are four common types of human pheromones:
Androstenone, or A-None is found in both men and women, however, it is usually known of as a male pheromone because it creates a dominant and aggressive aura and projects an...
The Science Behind Pheromones
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