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Saying No to Toxic Relationships
After the long cold days of winter, spring sings her chipper song. As I write this, I have brightly coloured tulips to gaze at happily in my garden. Spring is a great time to start eating healthier, lighter food, wear bright colours, and get outdoors. It also happens to be a great time to fall in love. Perhaps scientists will one day reveal a specific chemical that flies around in the spring air that gets the pheromones going. Who knows? Maybe they already have???but before you take that exuberant leap into a special someone's arms and fall head-over-heels, here are some suggestions to keep your head in the clouds, while your feet are firmly planted on the ground.
Using a brain imaging technique, Swedish researchers have shown that homosexual and heterosexual men respond differently to two odors that may be involved in sexual arousal, and that the gay men respond in the same way as women. The new research may open the way to studying human pheromones, as well as the biological basis of sexual preference.
Androstenol, or A-Nol, has two types: alpha and beta androstenol, each producing somewhat different results. Alpha androstenol makes the wearer seem more approachable and friendly, and less intimidating by creating an aura of youth and fitness. Alpha androstenol is not "macho" pheromone, like androstenone. Beta androstenol is good for inducing conversations, but it is less popular than alpha-androstenol, possibly because of its limited availability.
Androstenol, which appears in fresh sweat, is disintegrated by bacteria in about 15 to 20 minutes. This pheromone, which reported by women to be sweet-smelling, is also called the "pillow-talk pheromone", because women are exposed to it immediately after love making during the cuddling phase.
Pheromones act as a form of chemical communication between human beings. These chemicals are well known for their ability to attract members of the opposite sex.
Although it sometimes doesn't feel like it, it IS possible to walk away from a toxic relationship. The first step is to understand why you're in the relationship. We learn most about relationships from our families. You have to examine what kind of role models your parents were when it comes to intimate relationships and become aware of what you've picked up from them. Even the most dysfunctional family patterns will feel comfortable when they are repeated later in life- but just because they are familiar, it does not mean they are working for you.
Some men produce more natural pheromones than others, which is why you can see some men who are not handsome, but have no problems in attracting and seducing the most beautiful women.
In my therapy practise, I work exclusively with women and what seems to make it over and over to the "top 5" list of most important topics in therapy without fail is how to be in a healthy relationship with a significant other. From my therapy chair, I hear countless stories of hopes dashed, hearts broken, and very often, women being abused verbally, emotionally, and physically. Their pain is often gut-wrenching, extremely palpable, and difficult to bear witness to. I sit there day after day looking at the most beautiful, intelligent, strong, and capable women -a great inspiration to me in my own life- who are paying me decent money to help them figure out why they keep picking the wrong guys and how they can stop feeling so miserable in relationships.
After long dismissing the search for a human pheromone as folly, scientists have begun to take a second look at how human body odor influences sexual attraction. The magic scent is not only a romantic elixir but the aromatic effluence of our immune system. The only trouble is we don't give it half a chance.
Androstenone and androstenol are both testosterone-linked pheromones. Some people say that androstenone is stronger "macho" pheromone that signals a dominant and aggressive personality, while androstenol signals friendliness.
When you're looking for the man or woman of your dreams, unsuspecting pheromones in your body scent are most likely playing a large and very clever role in mate attraction. According to an article in "Psychology Today," how our body odors are perceived as pleasant and sexy to another person is a highly selective process. We usually smell best to a person whose genetically based immunity to disease differs most from our own. This could benefit you in the long run, making for stronger, healthier children.
Androstenone pheromone is not the same as androstenol. Androstenol is produced by fresh male sweat, and is relatively attractive to women. The other pheromone, androstenone is produced by male sweat, when that sweat becomes less fresh - after exposure to oxygen. Androstenone is highly unpleasant to women, except during ovulation, when female response to this pheromone changes to "neutral". Therefore, the sweaty macho-man is likely to be unattractive to most women.
?? You've had a gut feeling that something was wrong from the very beginning ?? You feel "on edge" or get "the crazies" when you're with him and begin to doubt yourself and your judgment
If you've never heard of pheromones it is time to learn about the part they play in your sex life. The concept of a human pheromone, or sexual scent of attraction, has been debated and researched for years.
Pheromones can be combined and topically applied. Pheromone colognes and perfumes sold on the Internet can help people be more attractive to members of the opposite sex, while at the same time be more respected by members of the same sex.
This is where the therapy starts and the healing begins. Changing self-destructive relationship patterns is a long and difficult, and often frustrating process. But it is completely achievable if you have the courage, guidance, and stick-to-it-ness to do it. Because I am asked so often for help in this area and because I have been through this process myself and ended up in the best relationship I could ever have dreamed of, I wrote a self-help relationship workbook entitled, "Dump That Chump: A Ten-Step Plan For Ending Bad Relationships and Attracting The Fabulous Partner You Deserve". It's available on-line at: www.dumpthatchump.com.
So many incredible, intelligent women-including myself- have dated toxic people- but it is possible to break the pattern and begin enjoying healthy, happy, and fulfilling long-term relationships. I have seen countless women ditch bad relationships permanently, and achieve great success in attracting and maintaining healthy, fulfilling relationships. How? By digging below the surface and doing the 'self work' that is required???there's no "quick fix"- the work is hard and often painful, but as one who has come out the other side and guided many other women there, I can confidently say that it's worth it!
Pheromones in humans are believed to be produced by the apocrine glands. These glands become functional after reaching puberty, which could explain why most people develop an attraction for others at that time. Pheromones could also be the reason why a person can sense "chemistry", or feel an instant attraction or dislike when first meeting someone.
There are four common types of human pheromones: Androstenone, or A-None is found in both men and women, however, it is usually known of as a male pheromone because it creates a dominant and aggressive aura and projects an aggressive alpha impression. Also, this pheromone can cause people to act more polite to the wearer. Androstenone has quite a strong and sharp smell in high concentrations, so wearing a decent cover fragrance over androstenone applications is necessary.
Dr. Cutler's original studies in the '70s showed that women who have regular sex with men have more regular menstrual cycles than women who have sporadic sex. Regular sex delayed the decline of estrogen and made women more fertile. This led the research team to look for what the man was providing in the equation. By 1986 they realized it was pheromones.
By the time they enter the therapy door, they have often reached a state of desperation and hopelessness. I can't tell you how many times I've heard women say, "That's it. I give up. I want to be in a healthy relationship but I'm not capable of it. I just keep repeating the same patterns over and over again and I never get what I want."
For the purposes of this short article however, I've compiled a list of signs that you should look for that will tell you whether your relationship is toxic:
Although it's now clear that pheromones exist, the way our body processes them has yet to be well determined. Animals have a vomeronasal organ (VNO), which perceives the substance and then leads them to mate. Some anatomists don't think humans have a VNO; others think they've found pits inside our nostrils that might be VNOs, but may not work.
Androstadienone, or A1 pheromone, probably the most popular pheromone within the pheromones community. This so-called "love pheromone" can increase caring feelings and closeness.
Androsterone, or A-Rone, creates an aura of protection and reliableness which is usually associated with peaceful alpha males. This pheromone makes the wearer appear to be more masculine. Also, androstenone can enhance or the effect of other pheromones in a pheromone mix.
The Swiss researchers found that women taking oral contraceptives (which block conception by tricking the body into thinking it's pregnant) reported reversed preferences, liking more the smells that reminded them of home and kin. Since the Pill reverses natural preferences, a woman may feel attracted to men she wouldn't normally notice if she were not on birth control--men who have similar MHC profiles.
?? He has a bad relationship track-record ?? He makes you feel badly about yourself ?? He gawks at other women in front of you ?? He doesn't seem to care about what you have to say
According to some surveys, about 50% of adult humans can't detect androstenone, unless the concentration is extremely high. Those who can detect androstenone say that its smell is not very pleasant. Androstenone is the main pheromone that men unknowingly secrete that attract women. Both men and women secrete pheromones when they sweat. However, since our body naturally only secretes small amounts of pheromones, they are effective for only a brief amount of time. The good news is that scientists have succeeded in identifying and synthesizing both androstenone and androstenol in the laboratory.
A pheromone is any chemical or mixture of chemicals produced by a living organism that transmits a message to other members of the same species. The term "pheromone" is usually used for sexual attractants. There are some other pheromones - they act as signals for alarm and defense, territory and trail-marking, and social regulation and recognition. Pheromones are now being used in insect control, for example as bait to attract males to field traps or, in very high concentrations, to disorient insects and prevent mating.
?? The people who care about you most don't like him ?? You stop doing things you used to enjoy to be with him ?? You feel like you can't live without him and vice-versa
The alluring chemical scent that young women give off to attract men seems to provide the same effect for post-menopausal women. When the scientists added the scent, a pheromone, to perfume used by older women, their romantic lives seemed to improve, the researchers wrote in New Scientist magazine. The study was also published in the Journal of Sex Behavior. Study leader Joan Friebely and her colleagues applied the test to 44 post-menopausal women. Those who used the treated perfume found their partners to be more affectionate than those who used the normal perfume.
You need to examine what you've been taught about relationships and how you have applied that teaching to your own life, and then sort out what isn't useful or productive anymore and find alternatives. Other steps I outline in detail in my book include identifying what your needs are and coming up with a list of your ideal partner's characteristics.
More information you will find at http://www.astrahealth.com/euphoria/index.html
Edward S. Ferguson
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Lean More and Choose The Best Pheromone for You
What is the best pheromone product on the market? Is there one product that out strips the rest and guarantees you success with the opposite sex, or for that matter, the same sex?
Human pheromones have made an impact on today s society as their role in human behaviour is better understood. The pheromone product industry has grown rapidly as savvy marketers realise the potential to make money... 
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After the long cold days of winter, spring sings her chipper song. As I write this, I have brightly coloured tulips to gaze at happily in my garden. Spring is a great time to start eating healthier, lighter food, wear bright colours, and get outdoors. It also happens to be a great time to fall in love. Perhaps scientists will one day reveal a specific chemical that flies around in the spring...
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Perfumes are made up of a blend of different aromas that usually come from essential oils. Perfume formulations can be expressed in volumetric or weight proportions of each of its components. Perfumes today are being made and used in different ways than in previous centuries. Perfumes are being manufactured more and more frequently with synthetic chemicals rather than natural oils. Many natural...
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